unamericans

(e)thereal has received almost 800 page views from outside of the borders of the usa according to in the past few months which is fun in a statistical game and fantasy kind of way and i wonder who looks in and why and whether anyone comes back cuz the whole point of public blogging is to put myself out here to be read and open to communication and feedback and responses even if it's salted with much grains most of the time (cuz wisdom overrules fantasy as age repeats the lessons and the rational mind gains pleasure in being right more than the irrational heart craves the adrenaline rush of the roller coaster of emotional chaos) there is still hope (always hope) that you were meant for me and i was meant for you, bejeweled, even, and blessed be the children, every one, while this little piggy full of excitement and hopefulness, sat back, relaxing and smiling all the way home :)

bullsugar! :)

loneliness

feeling it more and more lately, especially after social experiences, which makes sense as the social experiences lack the depth and intimacy that satisfies the hunger that breeds loneliness while waking up that same hunger… i’ve always been lucky (or wise) enough to know how to party with myself, that is, to enjoy life alone… after all, the reality of the physical experience is that we exist in separate physical bodies, at least as far as our perception allows us to understand the experience at the moment, so the best we can do is accept the isolation of being in separate bodies and learn to enjoy the experience within, alone… that doesn’t mean that sharing isn’t wonderful fun and rewarding in many worthwhile ways, we just should not fool ourselves into believing we cannot live without someone else because we do, live in separate bodies… so the sharing we call love, or falling in love that creates a need for someone else, is an illusion… an illusion that feels magical as it inspires emotions that amaze and frighten and work on our emotions like a roller coaster works on our physical senses… and that emotion is the real, physical experience that sharing brings and the hunger for that real physical experience is loneliness… based on the illusion that we need someone else, it becomes such a real hunger that it can become a physical addiction… i’ve experienced that, but the loneliness i feel now is a deeper sighing wanting, more eternal and infinite than momentary imperative… the hunger is wanting more than the momentary compromise of superficial sharing… even more than what billy joel sings about in honesty, though there is an excellent expression of the first step, a prerequisite… get it?... anybody?... ah, but that’s the rub, or there’s the rub, to be more classically inclined… not just anybody can satisfy the hunger in me, in fact, no one has ever truly satisfied it and i am less willing to compromise with each passing year…

all that to say i am feeling lonely lately… and that’s no bullsugar, aye?... or is it?... sigh…

bullsugar! :)

deadlines

i don't like deadlines, in fact, my subconscious (minds) rebels against deadlines so well that when i am presented with a deadline, the first thought process appears to be (not that i consciously think it, ya see) how bad will it be if i miss the deadline and i suppose that prioritizing deadlines is sensible, so i could rationalize it professionally and all, but i laugh at that even as i'll sell it well when it matters (like to keep a job or to put a smile on a friend's face, for instance... remember belated birthdays?) so anyway, when i come here to leave a few words to record bits and pieces of this life i experience for myself and anyone who cares, i smile happilly (sometimes gleefully) at the written words (for the love of words) and smile altruistically (sometimes euphorically) at the caring that keeps me coming back to record this life and smile wishfully (almost always blissfully peacefully) at the hope that keeps me sharing the words publically and i smile knowingly (sometimes wistfully) at the loneliness that wants someone to share the life i experience in words and in the physical space and time as i sit here hoping for a comment of some sort like the moment after i leave a few words here like "cool" or "yay" or "wow, wish i had your life" (ok, so the last one is ridiculous ego crap, but it's worth a try... or a laugh... i mean, i could have let libido slip one in like "oh, i love how you turn me on can i come over and jump your bones right now please?" but that would be cheesy, maybe even sappy {or chocolate icing and whipped cream if you are into food with your sex}, so i didn't), but even though i wish someone cared enough to be waiting for words and share back immediately, there is no deadline for a few caring words to be left here and was that a hint? and if you are not laughing, you were never really here :)

bullsugar! :)

the return of bliss

well scooter, you might have noticed by now, i mean, if you've been reading me forever, that i give a lot and i mean alot and not just money, but everything, many times over... yup, i give and give and give and it has hurt to near death several times, at least, in this life... i mean $4 and the clothes on my back in the cold on the street near death, if you know what i mean (or even if you don't, few do, ever, but that changes nothing)... and even with empty hands, the giving continues... even when it appears hapless or pathetic, the giving continues... even when it burns the eyes, the heart, the mind, it continues... and still, the beauty of it all is i love the feeling of giving... and perhaps the most amazing thing of all is that when someone finally does give back, it's bliss...

what?... whatever

i mean, like, whatever (seriously, this is serious, dichotomously bipolar, even)... right, so i finally sort of updated the primary entry page to my web world (the only one left since att deleted the main gate, burned down the front door, and smashed all the windows {sorry joey} and so many other pages, sigh, yes, the house crumbles, but the heart remains... and att sucks... what was i saying?), ah yes, the back door now (suddenly) has a brand semi-new coat of semi-gloss paint (semi cuz the code is not perfect and width and height of the new vitally important text will change and overlay the rest of the page with every screen size smaller than a 15 inch monitor, but it's still brand semi-new and hopefully improved and potently (or potentially, even) fortified with ironic (isn't it?) explanations of what the world wide web was and sort of still is all about for me, personally, i mean, as a writing addict... yeah, whatever, and i know, you may not have noticed, but i am rather addicted to writing, for whatever it means like so maybe now someone will find my still beating heart within the crumbled wreckage of deleted pages that was once my home on the web and we'll fall in love and live happily ever after... wouldn't it be nice? :)

or bullsugar! :)

kiss kiss (or mild abrasions)

yeah, just like the europeans... or more intimate if you'd like, if you were here, and most important, if you were attractive to libido which is extremely unlikely, so almost nevermind, stick to the eurokisses... flippant flirtation or blunt rejection, your choice because you are the reader and the reader is always right... except in person, then the writer is always right... if you don't understand, nevermind... not even almost... it's all about the friction, after all... narf...

and bullsugar!

taste buddies

there are just so sensitive and connected to my brain (and therein, every nerve ending and hormone producing gland and organ that shoots emotional fireworks throughout the mind and body, it is almost unfair that so many seem to detach and lose touch and have a love-hate relationship with them... taste buds, i mean... they are my buddies when all others fail or drift away, they remain (stuck in my mouth, i suppose, but they don't seem to mind cuz i give them what they love most of the time and they've learned to love so many things, i can balance the dietary choices so i don't weight a ton or have out of control unhealthiness in the body)... tonight, they provide one of the best orally inspired orgasms this body has experienced in a long time as they explode with joyous memories of new york pastrami and knishes... hooray for mail order food :)

and that's not bullsugar! :)

petition for time (partial addendum)

actually, this is just a reminder to add this to the petition in proper petition language and all that formal stuff, but i am adding that to my petition to the universe for expansion of the earth's orbit (with the simultaneous heating of the sun so the daily temperature range remains relatively constant) because this body and mind i inhabit requires at least a 42 hour day for optimal comfort and productivity and saturdays should have an extra ten hours, at least, so a slight hiccup in the rotation of the planet needs to be built into the new orbits... so i hope the subatomic particles that designed the universe get on that right away...

the missing

yeah, even though i haven't been home until almost midnight or beyond most nights and life is so very busy with fun and friends and work i love and giving and food and toys and softball and basketball and games i love and diverse groups of people sharing most of my diverse interests and some oddities and even some tv now and then, i miss you and the song just keeps playing on another endless repeat... and me too, i miss me too...

bullsugar! :)

2, 3, 4 (once again)

as in she was just seventeen (and you know what i mean), and the way she looked... oh baby, you know what i like cuz, well, oh... hours ago i arrived at this domicile in which I sleep when I sleep and I’ll entry that time later with a backdatestamp (it’s a new word, look it up when the future gets here) so you’ve already read it unless you are not reading chronologically and then all hell may break loose in your time stream so don’t get hung up on the line or it’ll be bullsugar, or something like that… last night, once again, meg and dia blue me away once again, last night, and again, it would be so explosive if she let it happen, but does she have as much guts as she dreams of or would she crumble like every other human due to fear of something or other… holy moses it was love at first site...

meanwhile, in another blog (snarfuckle :)

for those who missed the party (o!)

the following was found (or lost) on facebook recently (reproduced here complete with typos and follow-up comments from the lunatic fringe):

yes, of course i should (have been) sleeping, but that's when the babbler wants to play most (among other sleepy semi-buried aspects of my personality, but those require a partner or some sort of inflatable ummmm, never mind)... i felt some... of that ol' time religion (not to be confused with human religions) last night and threw a chocolate milk party for the words, though it didn't get very far... heavy chocolate milk, ya know, challenging to throw, so the mess was surprisingly small... and for the confused, refer to page three of appendix g or the handbook on understanding me, if you can find it in your local bookstore... if not, sense an abundance of time to shared experiences, incorporated, and we'll put you on the waiting list... a winning lottery tocket or the equivolent will rush your order to the front of the line, in case you come across such a beast... and not that my eyes are open again, i think it's time for basketball... see you when i get back (i'll shower first, just to keep from dripping all my sweaty goodness on the keyboard... saturday night live later, not the tv version, but the home version, home you have fun too {hope, there's always, ya know?} :)

This message has been brought to you by the Chocolate Milk Association for World Acceptance.

obviously had extra o's this morning... abun-dance typo-o's (positive, please)... out to play ball now, b-goooood....

rolling

thinking about music thanks to a list-making moment or few and dancing in the dark all by myself, doesn't matter what i wanna be or not to be, the question has no answer (or 42), but there are many different ways to rolling and kinds of rolling and i'm just kind of rolling along right along alonger than there are whatever the song said, whichever song it was... there might have been a reason in the seasons of the heart but something change from the way it was at the start and i don't know what it means to you but it's the way it has to be there is still just one dream this true and it means everything to me...

all the rest is bullsugar!

more than the sum of my links

i was, really, so asleep and deeply could have been resting the body and brain as good is meant to be, but instead, i got into wandering youtube for music and mind games and all sorts of odds and ends (and you can find the linkages and other paths right here online as the newest of the hundreds of web spaces i loosely call home forms in sites i saw but you will be fooled to think i am where i've been for i am much more than the sum of my links...

perception

from time to time, when communication matters and curiosity about the world outside of my head has enough attention (not just pop news but a more personal view), i wonder how words in post like this one are received (perceived), remembering the oft quoted (by me, at least) We do not see things as they are. We see them as we are. (Talmud, Nin, others), i suppose those who feel lonely or self-pity will see much of both in my words and those who are more self-actualized and content will see the irreverence and humor i usually (almost always) feel as i write the words... feel free to tell me, even i am dead when you do :)

dreams

slept for at least five hours and woke with thoughts of $ on my head, rare as anything, but distinct thoughts of retirement funds and inheritence and death and taxes and people that i have let drift out of touch and ambivalence about reconnecting with the whole thing and before that i was reunioning with professional atheletes at some international festival and feeling a comradering while hugging two for an extended arm and arm affection while watching some celebration on tv and out the window off a balcony and feeling more connection than i ever feel in everyday life and i almost never remember dreams, aye? :}

nuts

I have been wondering of late about mixed nuts, specifically about the ratio of one type of nut to the other in the mixture… for instance, is the ratio regionally dependant… do the nut mixes have more of one of the other type of nut if a certain kind of nut grows more prevalently in a given location?... if we looked at the contents of a box of nuts from france, for instance, would it be consitutionally different than a box of nuts from china?... would there be differences in the constituency of nuts from north korea, india, iraq, isreal, south africa, new zealand, canada, or chile?... I think someone should travel the world to explore the many different varieties of nuts and see how they mix…

web journeys

cazzy music
ignorance + arrogance --> paranoid and 1
world hunger facts
love at first site and 1 2 3 4
four virtes
get off your grass
a wilder lawn
rawsome
facebook
twitter

weird feeling

way tired, way happy, way excited (or is that agitated) way sad way so much clarity, infinite altruism taken so for granted it continues through carefree apathy... giving unconditionally into a vacuum returns nothing but the pleasure of giving, yet how long can a negative energy field survive in a vacuum?... or a positive one, even... curiously refreshing...

retro scratchin

no really no no no really really really this ought to have been a passive sentence in bullsugar not the real, aye? e e e yeah...

bullsugar! :)

cha cha cha ha ha ha ha

don't you ever get tired of the emo whining over at the daily life blog (aka e-the-real)?... i mean, come on, the pathos is pathetic and all but swallows all hope for rational thought (loneliness swallows positivity letting fear consume hope, such a human way, nyuk, nyuk, narf lol lam laa)...

there may never be enough time for anyone to really travel back to understand it all, after all, many of the online babblings and rhymes are no longer there and the online writings make up but a fraction of the lifetime written gardens and this is just one life, cha know? :)

and what good is any of it without love? :)

glory box

there was a time i masturbated daily, often more than once a day, cuz that was the comfortable place my sexuality lived... and today i realized after a wonderful bit of self-loving that days go by lately and even more surprising is how long it's been since i shared the experience with someone else... portishead singing glory box as i woke from a quick deep nap probably flashed some memory cells... i wonder if libido is dying...

bullsugar! :}

lol 222

living life alone can produce such a singluar perspective even for one striving for infinite perspective and openness of mind... this is the primary vitality (or vital-ness, cuz words are so queer sometimes) of sharing, bonding, intimacy, and ultimately, trusting another's perspective... the difference between to extremely similar things can be so vast, a molecule change can make a chemical have almost the opposite properties... just wait until the figuer out brain chemistry, i mean, life (especially the real, ya know?) can seem so serious, so analytical, so worrisome and concerning and, oh, serious, ya know?... but the subtle changes, even in words, can be dramatic... i mean, there is even harm in harmony, after all...

cheap skates

and the time, i say, the time goes by so slowly and, you know, the time can mean so much, i say, so much... listen to me boy, i'm talkin' time here (dull boy, wouldn't know a timepiece from a piece of cake)...

who's paying attention?...

cheapskates :P

someday, my sleep will come

yeah, i say someday because it definitely does not come at night without some conscious effort... too much to do, to many dreams to explore (awake), too much to write about, too much to share... there really is not enough awake time in this life...

wondering about you

yeah, so you see (if you've paid attention, looked around lately, are aware, and care) that the casual cool self-mockery is back (dorky narf)... and i will keep hoping life was fun for you today every day even if you never know (oh, is ignorance really bliss?... you really ought to get in touch, i mean, all this silent time is making me wonder if you are still alive {better than wondering if all your caring was a lie, aye?}... emo snark)... and besides, you matter even more when you are in touch, ya know? (not so depressed that you don't care if you matter, are ya?)...

bullsugar!

silly peoples

well, now that you are finslly here, you do realize you are missing all the fun, don'tcha?...

and bullsugar!

creative insomnia

i closed my eyes (only for a moment then the moment's gone?... well, sort of {and we grin a silly mostly all-knowing grin} but more, a starting out sincere {but ending up half-hearted} intent to fall asleep), cuz the mind wizzes and waddles and rambles and rants through oil rigs and imaginary diety chats and softball replays and some sort of enlightenment and how humanity got so bent and ear rings that never stop screaming and a mind that never stops dreaming and books i want to read and things i want to do and games i want to play and promises i made to you and activities i want to share and people i want to see and way i want to care and ways i want to be and stuff i want to know and work that must be done and finding time to run and all the fun of the fair and clean air and long hair and blank stares and red chairs and dead birds blackened on the beach and people who don't practice what they preach and grown men who abuse the kids they teach and stars that remain just out of reach and theme parks where i want to play and rides i want to ride all day and stories seeking the time to tell and rhymes i used to know so well...

bullsugar! :)

alakasasafrass

note that is with two esses, as one would be very different... and once again (or at least almost if you know what i mean, amazement swims in those bright brown eyes... or whatever color they may be today... and you, dear loves lost in ignorance, are missing the party, the story, the journey through the magical mystery tour of the mind that i experience (not to mention the web world)... for all you see is what you see...

bullsugar! :)

oh yeah

so many ways to say the words, oh yeah... ohhh yyeeahhh... deep voice, high voice, sexy voice, laughing boive, sly clever almost evil voice... and the home made frappacino i made last night and tonight have taken me to all of them... OHHH YEA-AH!...

and the youtubes deep thoughts, laughter, toons, and music have definitely helped... it has been so long since i gave myself the nights, the time to explore and set my mind free... and thought this six day trek was just scratching the surface, at least it got scratched...

oh yeah :)

lemonade alternative

life has been presenting a series of lemons of late and sometimes, i tired of making lemonade, no matter how sweet it comes out...

so tonight i made some serious chocolate milk...

with bullsugar! :)

fog the horn, i say, leg, that is

i don't recall, that is, is say i don't remember, quite, i say boy (boy's about as sharp as a bowling ball), see i moved a while back and forget whether i started over in a new space as i am apt to almost always do, i think, every time, at least in some way... and then, a little while later, another major change in living space, two roommates moved in (one's a dog, i say, the four legged kind) and the revelational refreshing of the flow may not have happened...

strange, the flow appearing so unaffected... must've died and nobody told me... but the toon (boy's gotta mind like a steel trap... full of mice), i say the toon lives, aye? :)

flying solo

some days, being alone is a beautiful place to be... keeping in touch with the real elsewhere... and the music returns... do you know what i mean? :)

the words and music are out there if you want to know what's passing through my head today, if you have the time to let the journey envelope you or if you simply want background music... i believe i had a very beautiful day when i put this particular playlist together... and softball later, but for the moment, relaxing... can you relax this much? :)

should do this more often :)

wunnerfulworld

yeah, ya know, with a musical soundtrack, life is better than a movie...

wigglewaggle

wiggle... waggle... whatever it means today, it's a fun little dance of the mind as fatigue tickles the synapses until giggles make sense, in fact, it is well on the road to that nameless place where giggles make more sense than anything else... if you've never ben there, you have my sincerest deepest sympathies...

and how was your day? :)

taking care of beeswax

sleeping less this week again, stimulated by sports, in the flesh and on the tube, and watching the craigyferg guy bare his naked ego all over the screen... posting on twitter and faceboon, serious and nonsense, you'll just have to search to find that crap... but i love all you friends and followers, really i do...

and you too :)

hate to leave ya hanging

of course hate is used with carefree flippancy and the phrase itself is one of the most over-used misnomers in language in our culture as people cross hypocrisy with insincerity most among the gifts they give each other so what if i slap the phrase around here in this jewel of casual sarcasm, el bullsugaro...

yeah, some might care somewhere... and you'll find me there :)

if you ever get there :}

memorial day

remembers long before the web when i was but a wee lad serving in uncle sam's marching machine in the war torn town of monterey california (just north of carmel by the sea, forty miles north of big sur), i ment one of my many mentors, a man from a hundred ten miles north in san francisco where i spent many a wonder-filled weekend in those wild and crazy days of youth, and as if for the first time all over again he inspired my wide eyed laughter with another post card meant to be sent through smail mail and this one lept from the mailbag to remind me with love and laughter of those times i gave to this country so truly and simply...

"Please don’t ask me to keep in step – It’s hard enough just to stay in line." ~ Ashleigh Brilliant

some rest

yes, some rest, not enough, but a large doze of much needed rest... and the tip of the massive bloat of fatigue and excess peeks out from the depths where reality is buried by the daily grind of rushed habits that too easily becomes life, a very thin imitation of the true potential of the word... life is not only bullsugar, after all...

we can do much better...

balance

losing interest in the daily word, the illusion that people are out there caring, reading, keeping in touch in a silent vigil as only a devoted reader does... these momentary moods don't last long, but the flow of words may spread around and therein slow down here and in other daily places... that is the real in the writing life... sometimes, for the balance and benefit of all, but most especially me, some selfish time is taken...

facebook

spending a lot of time on facebook of late as the past and present seem to merge in a timeless wonderland of memory and reconnection... don't know how long before the next web playground supplants facebook and there are some warning signs, but it is fun... at least for the moment (and a touch of twitter too :)

one more night

again, just another day, again, take it to the limit (almost) one more time, again, sorta, kinda, well, not really... it's all a touch of drama just to keep the boredom at bay, or so the slight of hand, fingering, and characters might lead you to believe... but really, it's all the maze that moves the mountains and makes the mayrtyrdom seem authentic and bearable, the maze that produces palpable pondering between the lines and around the edges so that most of all, the loneliness does not swallow the abyss that keeps hope alive, the same maze that maintains the loneliness...

or maybe it's just... bullsugar! :)

maintaining quo

status or otheriwse, sometimes hanging on by the skin of the teeth (as if teeth had skin), other times just holding breath and hoping it all doesn't fall apart, we continue to muddle through the bullsugare and worse, the crap that produces neither amusement, education, or other worth in other to believe that everything is gonna be alright no matter what...

and the rest of the time it's mostly...

bullsugar! :)

day after day

alone on a hill, even... with a slight craving for chocolate i consider going out even as 11pm approaches and probably will distract myself with the mentalist instead because the news sucks (humans are just a sad species, pathetically violent and stupid, but perhaps i am even stupider as i hold on to hope for humanity, aye?.. day after day, even)...

save the humans!

work, play, friends, fun

all squeezed into every single day along with good food and tv distractions and artistic amusements and games and did i mention fun?... but what about the love?...

love is everywhere all around inside outside up side down, love is all the energy and sharing and giving and wonder and excitement and joy (and even sorrow, but not the heavy weighty depressing sorrow you might be used to) and passion and awareness and life we live (if you live it, i mean)... but what about...

ah yes, the intimacy... missing the intimacy... the wonderfulness all sqrrzed into every single day could even be more amazingly wondrous... good to have something to look forward to :)

our google controllers

why do the powers at blogger/google demand i re-enter my user name and password at random moments when i am inspired to write... is it so they can stifle my creativity by blocking my writer while i am searching for my latest password?... or is it just an ocd control freaky thing like most power mad successful folk do?...

or is it phishing?...

bullsugar!

twitter?

i have not yet begun to tweet!

bullsugar!

more to follow

as it is mayday, may day, maybe a day of calling for help or a day for new rebirth (i prefer the latter, though the beatles song still plays in the background now and then, as does never walk alone and so many others, but then, so does the fun and frolic of communication in the moment that the likes of facebook and the online world provides... still, i want to play around the physical environs today, so maybe later...

more bullsugar! :)

time to discover

it takes time to discover and life leaves most of us so little time to do anything but work and shop and eat and sleep (and do a few bodily functions in between)... but still, make time to discover...

even if it's bullsugar!

flying time

before i can catch my breath there's another day and another night and another week and another month and blink, life passed and not even right before my eyes cuz my eyes were blurry with fatigue and distracted by so many other bullsugar and whatevers...

wish you were here :}

could have fallen

asleep, that is... there was a time when i could have fallen in love at the drop of a hat, or any article of clothing, in fact, or a blink of the eye, to be more exact, from afar, up close, at first sight, in reality, in fantasy, even purely in my imagination, but that does not happen much anymore... so i stayed awake anyway...

and whatever will be will be :)

fourty four blogs here at blogspot (though not all listed on my profile and a few shared)... thirty diaries at diaryland (though only about thirteen actually developed with theme and entries and all of those mostly sleeping these days)... and a few journals at live journal have long slept as well... and other elsewhere, some of which can be found here... why?... i am mentioning it because i want attention and feeback... i do it because releasing myself, real and imaginary, into words is cathartic...

also... so much bullsugar... and then some...

missing the point?

for visual and egocentric reasons i am sure (figure of speech, even), i am slightly addicted to my current entry in my video me blog cuz it's fun and i miss fun so very much... and the physical, i miss the physical... and life, i miss life... love, of course i miss precious love most of all... i'd like a profound thunderstorm about now... i miss nature too... i work too much...

bullsugar!

yeah, what (must be again)

somewhere along the way yeah, what? with and without the question marks must have been the title of a blog (or journal or diary entry) and if the many thousands of entries were catalogued, we'd know, wouldn't we?... so?... yeah, right (ditto)...

meanwhile, this blog called bullsugar may have lost it's way (or it's energy) as it drifts through a slow semi-silent phase (obviously influenced by the lack of time {and energy} for letting the mind go where it will go {not fixing the holes, aye?} as works swallows all it can)...

still, there is the faint breath of irreverence... somewhere...

or a blue-green sneeze from the left, at least :)

minor wonders

i wonder what this blog was going to be about before it became whatever it is about, if anything... i wonder if i would like the american idol singers if i heard them for the first time today instead of having followed them for weeks and grown slightly attached to the whole singer success dream.. i wonder why nobody tells me they read my words if anybody ever does read my words... i wonder why human being let fear destroy life's potential... i wonder if anybody knows what bullsugar means...

may i?

more rested than in many many months and yet, still quite groggy, only demonstrating the need for an extended sleep (vacation) type event and since that has not occurred with any comfort since the mid-nineties, it would seem to be about time (it's always about time)... so commit?... this year, for sure... this season, most likely... this month, perhaps, but may may make matters more manageable for manipulating time, maybe... merry merry, no doubt :)

orgasms were never like this

reading gogreen who?... laci?) tonight and lead to tinybuddha (as opposed to skinny buddha or the original fat guy, i suppose)... perhaps profound (craigyferg?) and what (the fuk?) or maybe love is all we need, but i haven't even gotten started yet, really (following idol after all) and brain exploding through the right eye and left ear, it was bound to happen...

bullsugar!

exhausterated

headache in right eye most of the day, ear screaming at feverish pitch, hit like crap tonight, but pitched great, still lost 8-7 cuz of errors and crappy hitting by the rest of the team... headache in right eye and ear screaming did not help... at all... keeping me awake?... life... liberty... and the pursuit... and...

bullsugar! :)

when i'm sixty four

i wonder if i will still be here... alive, even...

bullsugar!

not enough energy

bullsugar requires 17.13 joules of energy to not be crap and there has not been quite that much lately... so this is crap... crap bullsugar... deal with it...

narf...

rhestoric

miles to go before i sleep, still have promises to keep...

believe...

over under

future bullsugar forcasts sex is not overrated, just undernourished...

bullsugar!

heavy?

another week begins in a few hours and i am in that limbo stasis between independently secure perfect peace happy happy joy joy and that wondering wandering doubt if an unshared life is a waste of it's true purpose (which opens the door to all sorts of illusions, delusions, and ethereal perspectives and mental constructs from sci-fi to the supernatural to spirituality to normal human insecurity and fear-based dependencies...

i so much prefer the happy happy where i usually find myself, but i do dangle my toes in the human madness just cuz it is everywhere in this physical world and i am a physical body here...

mostly it comes from wanting to share so much i feel lonely and extreme long term fatigue allows me to consider buying into to the delusion of needing to share with a soulmate to make this life all it can be, or something like that...

heavy bullsugar? (lol :)

laughing memories

wisdom would suggest sleep at this moment, but craving calls for ny pushcart hot dogs cuz i saw them while walking downtown after the milessa ferrick concert and i did not buy any cuz jackson is a healthy influence, mostly, sorta, when i want her to be, and she bought the concert tickets (so i treated for sushi)... so i shopped on the way home as planned cuz i needed basic stuff and some ny pushcart hot dogs and onions in tomatoe sauce jumped into the cart and followed me home... i deny any knowledge of how it might have happened... they are cooking themselves as i type this and shortly, they will most likely stuff themselves in my mouth at which point i will be left with no choice but to chew and swallow or choke...

20 minutes later...

it might help if i actually put the hot dogs into the boiling water...

bullsugar! :)

somewhere inside

bullsugar brews... there's just not enough time and the fatigue has depressed the fluffiness (and bullsugar without fluffiness is quite messy and tastes like bad artificial sweetener)... so i won't force it...

at least i'll try not to...

it's a gas gas gas

i like excitable gases and i cannot lie... also like elves and sprites... someday i'd like to lay back and sleep inder the aurora...

blog addict

addicted to reading blogs or addicted to writing blogs or both... for me, my blogging addiction is primarily tied into my writing addiction, so i fall into the addicted to writing blogs group, however i too easily slide into the addicted to reading (and viewing) group, so i am both, with stronger pull toward the writing...

even when it is costing me by the byte...

grrrr, bullsugar!

losing touch

and if all goes well, i will find - i will make the time (by focusing and organizing my energies) to return and catch up and it will seem as though i never lost touch or anything, not even a beat... perhaps... and that will only fit in as well as the name of this blog can be, sweet bull... but until then, it is a less sweet, swiss cheesy taste of disconnect and disjoint... the laughter of the madman, the patients of the saint, and the smile of charlie brown, in a word...

bullsugar! :}

hurry up and wait

humans are so conditioned to the military regime that they demand it of themselves and each other in just about every organized activity they attempt to organize… and since my circadian rhythm and mind clock is way different than most humans of this day and age, what can be expected… they must not rule my regime… so I will be late or early most times, and most times late, to their parties because there are so many other things to do in the time they arrive early just to wait…

bullsugar!...

missing the craigyferg

and a total stranger lead me to tears (almost, more like gawking, but that could be the sleep-deprived stupor talking, or another stranger, perhaps, as nearly random strangers {and musical fantasies, even} and a proper amount of suction, of course)… and I found a good cause and I made some and even made it on to some lists …sigh… sometimes I feel so sad and left out of a life that should have been mine, or so I sometimes want to believe, so I take solace in facebook and ponder twitterng, or twitting, or whatever it’s called, but then, what’s in a name, aye?...

but over in the real, here, there, wherever it is, I am wishing for more time cuz i must sleep and therein, I am missing out on craigyferg, the craig ferguson experience on twitter complete with sidekicks fans and accessories… for no apparent reason, which is almost like bullsugar...

too much is not enough

cuz if it's too much, there is not enough reception for the energy being generations, the giver is left with excess and lonely for more sharing, but only the one with too much sees this perspective... so i am home from two all night parties to change and head out for softball practice...

make your weekends precious too, for they are too few in the end :)

always asking for too much

bullsugar!

soured on the cold

yeah, i moved down to florida for the tropical heat and it's been cold for months and that's just wrong... it's got me hibernating inside in some really physical ways and it's been going on for way too long and that's just wrong...

repetitive too...

the office

i suppose i need to be in the mood for it, but i am finding it below boring on the entertainment scale, but this could just be a really bad episode and it is the first time i am watching an episode... is it always done as a documentary with the characters introducing themselves to the camera and each other and telling the camera about each other and saying and doing stupid (below funny) things?... maybe you can tell me what i am missing...

ok, i looked it up, it is a mockumentary, mocking documentaries and whatever else might be funny to the writers, i suppose... i have no clue how this show became or remains popular, but it seems to be very popular... maybe this is just a really poor episode (apparently it is possible, even among fans i see... apparently the guy at the bottom of this page {comment 119) thought there were 11 episodes worse than this one and he's one of the most frequent posters on the site... yes, i did research) and i am not giving it a fair chance...

but for me, the characters are unappealing, so how much more can good writing do?... it's kind of a prolonged monty python bit without the any of the cleverness, odd faces, slapstick, or intelligent humor... just a sleepy barely irreverent series non-sequitors deadpanned for thermian humor value...

yeah, go for that reference and you in a giggle... but seriously, the office?... no seriously, the office... why?...

you never know what you're gonna get from bullsugar!

twelve hours sleep, yay

well, almost yay... it was not straight through though, as i woke at least a half dozen, probably more times... twice to go to the bathroom cuz i drink lots of water and often before going to bed and do not believe in holding it in cuz i fall back to sleep easily and at least four or more times to roll over cuz i was sleeping on my side and i feel the discomfort of that awkward body position (human bodies are not built to sleep in their side)... when did i stop automatically sleeping on my back?... toronto, yeah, and why have i not addressed it?... i do not recall sleeping straight through for twelve or more hours in this millenia...

alas, bullsugar!

video fever

that's right, in case you found this place and haven't noticed, at least a half dozen videos popped into the random pop news blog from the serious to the nonsense from banal satire to serious social issues, the world outside the head came a knocking as i found time to wander around my emails and youtube and other newsy places...

posterity will have a lot of catching up to do... how about you? :)

bsugar

as opposed to asugar?... pour some sugar on me?... i'd only say that to someone who i'd want to lick it off, not anybody else no matter how much someone might want to lick it off, i am that proprietary with this body these days and kind of almost always have been... not prude, just picky...

i know, you really wanted to know that :)

go cicero

Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetuer adipiscing elit. Maecenas porttitor congue massa. Fusce posuere, magna sed pulvinar ultricies, purus lectus malesuada libero, sit amet commodo magna eros quis urna.
Nunc viverra imperdiet enim. Fusce est. Vivamus a tellus.
Pellentesque habitant morbi tristique senectus et netus et malesuada fames ac turpis egestas. Proin pharetra nonummy pede. Mauris et orci.

yeah, you go cicero :)

wow, forgot already

that i bought dvds the other day, or yesterday, even, but not last night, no, it was the night before, so like, whatever, or whutevahhhh, yeah, like chinch...

but remember this... ask yourself nothing else but everything :)

bought dvds

impulse purchasing at amazon dot com and a whole slew of cds will be arriving in a week or two, days of marathon watching could be in store... i wonder if jackson is into that kind of thing... sooner or later i will get a giant tv too... looking at the 52 to 65 inch models... only thing is, this space is too small for such a huge screen... but then, i don't want to spend $700 on a 42 inch screen when for just a few hundred more i could get a 52 or 55 or even a 65 inch screen... oh, the laborous pondering... maybe i could get an imax...

narf :)

paper trails

holy crap, talk about a paper trail… I just changed my address for my driver’s license and car registration online and while I was there I renewed my regiatration which is due in less than two months and it was simple and easy (and expensive, $115 to renew the car for two years and $25 just to get a duplicate license cuz of the address change)… but the amazing holy crap thing was finding an expired registration on my 1991 nissan sentra still in the system and still renewable…

according to the state of florida, I still own that car that I have not even seen in thirteen years… and actually, it’ll be an antique in just six more years… probably would still be running if I had it all this time, though it did get banged up a bit along the way… dang narrow tree-lanes… the irony (or scary thing) is that the plate is still good and I am libel for any tickets on the plate and if I wanted to transfer the plate I could and that would save $225 in new plate fees if I got another car…

anyway, into each day a little bullsugar falls, or something like that…

no more anonymous here either

at least not straight through... so far i've been pushed to set three blogs here at blogger google on moderate all, not just moderate older entry comments... the anonymous spam is getting out of hand so anonymous comments are shut down...

bullsugar!

all the caring words

i miss them, even in my most irreverently casual independently secure happy within myself moments... so just in case you found me here, now you know :)

no matter how well i carry on
i miss you when you're gone :)

another fun night

maybe that's why i am alone when i get home, cuz i have too much fun and i am so excited by so many diverse and everyday things all the time so there's no magical wondrous explosion of sudden fun or excitement that someone can personalize and thing they inspired that can be considered falling in love...

anybody get that?...

well anyway, and as usual, and by the way, and whatever, and yeah, so... somebody somewhere will find me on my wavelength or cloud or plan of consciousness or literary description of wherever i can be found and related to and understood and gotten (get it now?) and until then, life will just continue to be fun and exciting without you...

you'll know me when you find me cuz i've always been in your dreams (and you've always been in mine) and everything else is just...

bullsugar :)

lonelies

feeling the missing pieces of the puzzle of my dreams cuz the picture of my dreams (not that anyone could paint if, ah, only if someone could be the portrait of my love dontcha know :)

where were we?... ah yes, lamenting the missing pieces, specifically, the missing piece traditionally called the one (and i was using the term long before the elton john song of the same name, but the song did so well fit after all, all i've ever needed cha know :)

we were going somewhere, really... ah yes, somewhere, somehow, somewhere... romantic tragedies so easily float around in my head when the lonies rise from the depths of desires for love and companionship and partnership and romance and falling... the hunger to fall in love used to be much stronger than it is in recent years, but it still exists somewhere withint the busy whirlwind of the life i still loosely call mine...

wonderful :)

movies

i love movies, even more when i bond with someone because of how we love movies, especially specific movies... there are movies that are most dear to me because of the specific people who loved those movies with me... some like it hot is one... et is another... as is it's a wonderful life... my girl as well... home alone too... and harry potter and many 90's disney movies... sharing the movie experience is much more profound for me in the long run...

there are movies that draw me in even deeply no matter what and that is often due to the character (as written or as acted, sometimes libido is enough to draw me in, most times there's a much deeper psychological connection) as much as the story... v is one... hook, tale of two cities, random harvest, terminator 2 and serenity are others...

avatar did not quite win me over completely, but i do want to see it again in a full imax as i saw it opening night in a part-imax... the reason for this movie reflection entry is that i see this week avatar passed titanic as the biggest money maker ever in the u.s.a and worldwide..... the first film to make $2 billion... . and it made it in amazingly faster time (titanic took about 250 days to reach $600 million in the u.s. and avatar made $601 million in it's first 48 days... amazingly fast... quite amazing, really)...

anyway, it is partly due to inflation, but at the pace it is going avatar could reach the top ten of the inflation-adjusted lists too, thought #1 would be tough... does that make it the best movie all time?... not for me, though i definitely enjoyed it and will see it again... but the best movies for me are the ones with personal connections because they were shared with someone precious to me or because they become part of my psyche... and that's the impromptu movie wrap up in my head for tonight...

bullsugar :)

what'dya miss?

oh surely you have not read every entry everywhere and even if you think you did, spent weeks or longer tracking down every entry i wrote, look again and you'll find some entries have slipped in between the ones you found when you were reading somewhere else... yes, that's right, write too... i write even more than you see and the overflow spills into the past as if they were already there... and if should come as no surprise cuz i've told you all this before...

you didn't know?...

must have missed that entry too :)

so full of it

yeah, yes, uh-huh, i am so full of bullsugar it is ridiculous (ridiculouso, even) and you are so sure i am not when i am and so sure that i am when i am not, you find it so much easier to simple not care either way...

from whining about how people use and abuse my generosity and kindness to bitching about how unappreciated and unnoticed I am to how independently serene and without need I am to how irreverently serious my serious irreverence might be for sure and is…

like the reign of toyoto is over…

but if you truly understood, you’d know the truth and then, all this would not matter… most humans seem to see enlightenment as some sort of amazing accomplishment… I wonder what they think they find there…

in moments like these

that shall not be described or explained except to say, a true friendly voice and ear would be right on time...

and all that comes it bullsugar :}

high protein

is a farce cuzz, after all, who can get high on protein?... then again, who am i to question the human body?... it can get high on anything, especially the brain, which is often high on things we'd never expect to effect it's affect... i mean, barbecue sauce could be blood to a vampire, texture, the rush of energy, the coagulation factor... and blood is high in protein, after all... maybe...

i'm thinking about changing my diet again...

a phenomenal lack of sleep

can a lack be phenomenal, come to think of it, or inquiry, for that matter, but be that as it may or may not be or not to be, the fact is sleep seldom comes to the mind these days due primarily to the phenomenal lack of time there’s that inquiry again, for what it’s worth)… so much to do at home, at work, inside, outside, and so little time… phenomenal, actually…

undress your thoughts

but then, people are taught to be more afraid of undressing their thoughts than being naked in body... and have you bought into the fear too?...

who will be completely naked with me?

tea and bullsugar

sweet, no lemon, iced when it's hot, hot when it's cold, and tim tebow has way too much agenda to be a popular sports figure outside of blind who lead the blind, but then, they'd have us believe that is the majority, in the u.s.a. at least... does that mean the mjority want to overthrow the government and the constitution because the constitution says they break the law when they try to make their religion law of the land?...

you say you want a revolution?...

randomness prevails

whatever the previous entry would have been, brilliant genius as it probably was, there is spilt milk everywhere, spilled too, and all the tears in the world will only make it salty milk, so develop your ability t9o enjoy whatever and everything will be amazing, just like it is for all who's life is reminiscent of an episode of seinfeld, so don't thank me, it was nothing...

softball and sustenance

the double header went awry as errors threw away game one and though we came right back to tie that was the score when it was done... the second game was even less as the others racked up the score and our hitting did not impress and i was not pitching anymore... so one and one and one becomes our record for the league for now and oddly this team could be good if only we could/would learn how...

and then, food stuffed face...

blogger sucks, no bullsugar

well, blogger sucks, ate another entry, trust dissolves into bullsugar...

distract me...

did it again, no oops needed

yes, the brief nap to wake to watch prime time tv crap to slide into babbling to update the real to drift off to nonsense with the late night reruns ultimately, to cook up an after dinner meal and enjoy craig...

email: my father wants to take me on a trip for my twenty-first birthday... do you have any recommendations where we should go?...

craig: you should take an acid trip...

email: i am going for a job interview... do you have any advice that will help me land the job?...

craig: lie your ass off...

do we finally have another timothy leary for the new millenia?... intelligent rebellion seemed to die off in the reagan years when the hippie generation stuffed their noses with cocaine and sold out to the corporations and the man... oh, there was george carlin, but he was satisfied in the background quietly influencing people with enlightened comedy that did not ruffle enough feathers to change too much... and bill mahr is similar in his challenge to the status quo, as was carl sagan... intellectuals don't change things much in a fat lazy society...

ah, bullsugar...

someone save my life tonight

or any night, for tht matter... i need a change of habit... someone to actually take interest in actively caring about me, the life i live, in the real world, physical daily life... and i don't mean an intimate partner, though there's nothing wrong with sex at all and i'd surely love another lover, but more important for continuing being alive, is intimate caring... active caring is a true life saver, even more, a life extender... and it's been more than a few years since i had a friend who actually actively cared daily in the physical world...

sigh, and all that bullsugar...

start again in fifteen days? :}

tv

it is the essence of bullsugar, and far from the best, but the mostly superficial crust of human emotional mucous and the card or video games played when you are sick at home and looking for distraction... on another level, it is trashy candy, the junk food diet of the typical usa taste buds, the burgers, fries, tacos, jelly beans, marshmallow flush of the mind... and while i know the waste it can be, i can choose to enjoy and even appreciate the distractions and sweets and fried fats that bloat the body and head in the form of television programming...

i prefer to share the viewing experience, but even alone i can choose a few shows to suck in my brain, to absorb memory cells and motivate me to want to watch a continuing story... and over the past week i've tentatively chosen caprica and 24 (tentatively because i've only watched two episodes of the first on the internet and three of the second and might easily forget to find myself in front of a tv when these shows are on next, but i know i can find them online in the middle of the night or whenever i have a few hours to watch...

it would be nice to find a friend who shares the specific personality traits that interest me most (and if that could be someone who finds my specific personality traits most interesting and attractive to her, ah, what a wonderful life this could be) and i'm not even sure if the superficial pablum of television drama and comedy is any measure of compatibility (in so many ways it is not, and yet, it is a way to pass the time together and i'd like that), but i think i might watch some tv this year... oh really?...

yeah, the news is out of the bag, so how's your cat? :)

as if every word mattered, as if every entry in every blog mattered, as if every thought in every string of words mattered to someone who cared to read and find the value in every word, every thought, every line, every entry, in every blog…

it continues…

ridiculous lack of time

but more, an even more ridiculous stubbornnness to not give up my writing time and my relaxation time at the expense of the moving that has to happen in a couple of weeks cuz i put a down payment on a new apartment and i've got to give this place notice that i am moving out and start packing and cleaning and getting ready for the move, but there's so much to do at work that taking time off is not reasonable and bring work home is routine and still i want to play and find love and share happily ever after, but who would ever want to live the life i live, or share it, for that matter... so much to do, so little time...

and how are you? :}

repetitive

instinct suggests that when the blogging starts feeling repetitive, whether it actually is repetitive or not, it is time for a change, either a break or some other sort of change...

this is blog instinct number seventeen, or something like that...

after all, this isn't talk radio...

but oh, the catching up to do

which is somewhat seussian, not quite freudian, and unamerican, no doubt, but the politics of religion will never defeat the sexual revolution for primal beasts we be no matter what any god might say, images are made to be broken, after all, and that is what they said, in his image, so the old dude in the sky must be a pathological pervert too...

but oh, the catching up to do...

tour de lumpur

just too a visual tour of kuala lumpur and as i was flying through the eyes in my mind i wondered why humanity is so dependent of delusion and so eager to fight and die to defend what is not at the expense of what is... perhaps they can study that at the university d'islam or some fictitious xian place of equivalent value...

midstream

in the middle of a dream, or at least a stream as the words were flowing not quite like old times but closer than to that at least not in recent months or perhaps longer, but who's counting...

someone, i hope :)

birth

there is physical birth, a sperm and egg becoming an zygot becoming an fetus becoming an embryo (or vice versa) growing in a uterus becoming a baby becoming a human emerging from a vagina... there is intellectual birth, the cognitive awareness of the ability to choose, make decisions, take actions, exert some modicum of control over the body and the immediate environment around the body... there is emotional birth, the realization that the mind has power to effect the affect, the body, the physical experience of life that the mind perceives through the physical senses that the body provides... there is ethereal birth, some call it spiritual, some call it psychic, some call it belief or faith, some call it something else, the intuitive sense that knowledge is real without concrete perception or tangible evidence or logical reason as if being can be without the body, mind, or senses...

most only experience one birth in this life and fake the others…

not packing

at least it wasn't a window or a moving vehicle, aye yo ho? don't you know where to go when it's time to take the last stand (harry died before her made it completely clear but the answer's there for those who can hear) and what time is it?...

freaking now, that's when :)

i so don't have time for babble, but the bug is eating through all reason and it may cost me some dollars cuz the packing is not getting done, but the mind has a mind of it's own sometimes... if you knew, you'd understand, but if you understood, you might not know, though it would help in most cases... are you most cases?...

i'm going to miss the naked...

work games

for a child who loves playing with numbers and algebra and calculations and puzzles and problem solving and computers and learning new stuff all the time, the best job is one in which you are always just a little over your head (or a lot) and swimming upstream to find ways to do more better in less time with less offort and that's the way it is for me at work these days... so for me, work is a game and i've got it set up so that it's really challenging and fun (and there's no one telling me how to do it or what the product must look like, which is even more fun)...

hope you've found a way to make your work games fun too...

who has the time

to share all the time

poop and testicles

or testicals?... testicalls?... kittens and bunnies?... killer bunnies?... mila kunis?... john lennon?... name dropping?... sex on the beach?... bins and muffins?... i'm looking for a good sex object, so if you've got anyone in mind, please pass along your suggestions for my next ravenous libido fantasy at the comment box nearest you...

the safety word is poop and testicalls...

is this the way to death?

as if i need directions, the way i'm living at the rate i'm going in the direction i'm heading on the road i'm on... huh?... somewhere over the rainbow i've got a dream of resting peacefully with nothing to do but lay back and enjoy the scenery, but until i have my stroke i'll just continue struggling with all the things i want to do that require more time than exists in our reality or the minds of man...

which is why i am heterosexual tonight...

what amazing nonsense

of course the amazing assessment may only go to prove how deluded (or is that diluted?) i am (or have become, if ever i was undiluted), or is it the mock humility that presents a parody of seriousness for reasons only secret messages in far off corners of the web will someday explain to the very few who follow all the bread crumbs and figure out the maze (a-mazing we will go, nyuk nyuk, narf :)

understanding

i never really understood helplessness or hopelessness, even though i tried (and perhaps successfully, for a time) to actualize both, it was mostly just to fit in, to try to be loved and belong in the family of humans... as if infantile helplessness is somehow the way to get people to trust and love and take care of me... as if that is not simply abandoning awareness and responsibility, but then, what does responsibility bring, anyway?... so maybe i understand more than i think i do... so why have i never given up and checked myself into a nice little hospital where i could take legal drugs and get high and get food and do nothing but write in a journal and smile and nod and follow directions...

maybe i am just too stubborn to follow directions...

matters?

what matters?... only you know...
who matters?... only you decide...
why?... because, you matter.

sleep or laundry

the simplest of mundane decisions, health or cleanliness, as even the desire to share sits back and watches the brain shut down after the [izza-pasta carbs raise the blood sugar level and invite the sweet sleep this body and brain is (are) so hungry for... and the left ear is ringing louder than ever and both ears feel so clogged, is it wax or blood pressure or something else. a tumor or something supernatural...

sleep or laundry, such simplest questions...

will i explode tonight

lol, i wonder if that is a question... ordereding italian food to take home is a dangerous activity for me because i love variety in my foods and will often end up with enough food for a dozen people (or at least nine) and how do you eat just a little?...

even when it's true

i do wonder if my words mean anything outside of my head sometimes, especially when i spend hours focusing on some subject intended to convey something meaningful or when i am trying to help someone... and appreciation feels good when it is geniune (and even better when it's intimate... i miss intimate appreciation (and i don't mean sexual, though i have nothing against sex)... but alone is my lot in life these days and it may be because self-sacrifice is the most underappreciated of all human deeds, but hey, it still feels good to me even if i am the only one i've ever know who's done it as selflessly as i have...

i seldom wonder if my emo bullsugar is worth much :}

down deep

there's a place i go where it doesn't matter what anybody thinks or says about me or even what anyone does to me... i let myself get taken for a fool, taken advantage of, giving more away than most ever have in a lifetime... and maybe there are lots of karma points built up for me in the universe somewhere and maybe karma points are not visible as appreciation and nothing actually comes around... ultimately the feeling inside matters most and down deep, all is well, everything's alright, and t really doesn't matter if i'm wrong or rigt where i belong i'm right, i've gotta be me...

ok, before this entry writes the songs we love to sing, i'll smile and go down deep to the place and watch the wheels go round and round... may you find your place inside too :)

yeah, whatever

another one of those typical yeah, whatever moods as i look around and realize nobody really cares about anything cuz everybody lives in their own deluded self-centered fear-based fantasy...

and you are still welcome in mine :}

can sleep come

perhaps this year i will remember how important sleep is enough to actually actualize sleeping enough to actually actualize whatever optimal health and prosperity is left in this physical body i inhabit...

cuz there may not be too many years left... ummm, ya know? :}

holy blogoly

ten new blogs created tonight for several different reasons, most to make sure some blog names are not used before i can get to them (as so many have been wasted before by people who created a blog only to abandon it after as few as one entry or never use it at all... words deserve better than that, even without the over-dramatic mockery)...

and there's a dent in the piles of stuff in the space, even more surprising... and what's all this about bullsugar?... seems i forget every few entries and this sort of random report pops up... but then, what is a blog if not a random report of this or that or whatever... if only there was time, there would be so much more, if only there was time...

and you, how are you?

thereal exploded

referencing ethereal (even linked, which means something more, though i'll leave delving into the more for another time) where babble exploded and will follow here if i remain long (so i won't, cuz that's not what this is for, so there) but stopping by to bzzzzz some bullsugar at you cuz that's where it comes from (bullsugar is extracted from babble?... well, we'll have to talk to the scientists about that before we believe everything we read)... it was wonderful to be here (and certainly a thrill, with or without an audience, actually) cuz the imagination is the sweetest taste of all... happy new year everybody (and you too, wavey :)

oh gobber, it was horrible

i watched cable tonight... picked up the remote cuz i was asked to switch channels to find the ball dropping channel after the football game and there was one channel after another channel after another channel after, well, you get the idea... so many had something on...

i could see my brain cells dropping like flies...