breadcrumbs

all the little breadcrumbs that mark the long and winding road that can lead to your door, my door, any door (that's what breadcrumbs are for) after all, from the love we saved to the love we gave to the miracles on 34th street or promises in the dark, the musical lyrical references are but the sparkly shiny breadcrumbs, the colorful m&ms, even left along the path among so many other less obvious and more obscure pieces of fractal personality identity secrets nobody knows except the one who follows them all to wherever they may lead (and only there and then might we truly touch the magic moment so oft dreamt of, dreamed too, if life did not get in the way)... the laughing cloud mocks the sun's tear knowing the shadow is not forever and the sun will see the earth again... and the child giggles at the potential of the words... dream on...

bullsugar! :)

it might have been grand

or at least a fiesta (collective groan, naturally, from all who know about the great car search of 2011), but c'est la vie and a merry man's chest (or davey jone's locker, for that matter) cuz maybe, maybe i'm wrong is still one of my favorite songs off one of my favorite albums by one of my favorite bands and the point is not lost just cuz the sleepy apathy that many read as depression covers the many other moods like a wet blanket cuz we will not go quickly into the night not me not you not i so there cuz that would be giving up and giving up is accepting death and i still have another thing or two to ramble on about so hold your horses mr undertaker and bring on another round of roller coaster for those of us who love (salute's unnecessary)...

unamericans

(e)thereal has received almost 800 page views from outside of the borders of the usa according to in the past few months which is fun in a statistical game and fantasy kind of way and i wonder who looks in and why and whether anyone comes back cuz the whole point of public blogging is to put myself out here to be read and open to communication and feedback and responses even if it's salted with much grains most of the time (cuz wisdom overrules fantasy as age repeats the lessons and the rational mind gains pleasure in being right more than the irrational heart craves the adrenaline rush of the roller coaster of emotional chaos) there is still hope (always hope) that you were meant for me and i was meant for you, bejeweled, even, and blessed be the children, every one, while this little piggy full of excitement and hopefulness, sat back, relaxing and smiling all the way home :)

bullsugar! :)

2, 3, 4 (once again)

as in she was just seventeen (and you know what i mean), and the way she looked... oh baby, you know what i like cuz, well, oh... hours ago i arrived at this domicile in which I sleep when I sleep and I’ll entry that time later with a backdatestamp (it’s a new word, look it up when the future gets here) so you’ve already read it unless you are not reading chronologically and then all hell may break loose in your time stream so don’t get hung up on the line or it’ll be bullsugar, or something like that… last night, once again, meg and dia blue me away once again, last night, and again, it would be so explosive if she let it happen, but does she have as much guts as she dreams of or would she crumble like every other human due to fear of something or other… holy moses it was love at first site...

meanwhile, in another blog (snarfuckle :)

retro scratchin

no really no no no really really really this ought to have been a passive sentence in bullsugar not the real, aye? e e e yeah...

bullsugar! :)

silly peoples

well, now that you are finslly here, you do realize you are missing all the fun, don'tcha?...

and bullsugar!

flying solo

some days, being alone is a beautiful place to be... keeping in touch with the real elsewhere... and the music returns... do you know what i mean? :)

the words and music are out there if you want to know what's passing through my head today, if you have the time to let the journey envelope you or if you simply want background music... i believe i had a very beautiful day when i put this particular playlist together... and softball later, but for the moment, relaxing... can you relax this much? :)

should do this more often :)

wunnerfulworld

yeah, ya know, with a musical soundtrack, life is better than a movie...

heavy?

another week begins in a few hours and i am in that limbo stasis between independently secure perfect peace happy happy joy joy and that wondering wandering doubt if an unshared life is a waste of it's true purpose (which opens the door to all sorts of illusions, delusions, and ethereal perspectives and mental constructs from sci-fi to the supernatural to spirituality to normal human insecurity and fear-based dependencies...

i so much prefer the happy happy where i usually find myself, but i do dangle my toes in the human madness just cuz it is everywhere in this physical world and i am a physical body here...

mostly it comes from wanting to share so much i feel lonely and extreme long term fatigue allows me to consider buying into to the delusion of needing to share with a soulmate to make this life all it can be, or something like that...

heavy bullsugar? (lol :)

attention!

it's been a brain-fest weekend so far as i've watched at least a few dozen videos, probably more, some more than an hour in length and more than half educational in a legitimate academic sense... and there's been reading involved too... you can find some of the links in previous entries here and over at bullsugar, which has become the sister daily blog to this one... and there've been many new videos uploaded to the two video blogs... and even some babbles uploaded to the babble blogs... and more, but just cuz i love attention and want idol worship for my massive amygdala and hyperactive nerons and all-around brilliance doesn't mean you have the time to explore, find the evidence, believe in me as i do, and sit there typing words telling me how great i am...

of course you could, i mean, we know you can do anything you want to do... and i'll return to the music now cuz songs are such good things (and you can't stay a stranger to a song... unless you ignore it)...

kind of like everything else, aye? :)

bullsugar! :)

everyone is fighting

for one thing or another, everyone is fighting, if only for the illusion of control... for the illusion of belonging... for the illusion of being better than the rest... for the illusion of winning... for the illusion of being number one... for the illusion of power... for the illusion of order... for the illusion of right or wrong or heaven or hell... for the illusion of love or hate or pain or fear... for the illusion of knowing... for the illusion of sharing... for the illusion of feeling, of being, of thought... and most of all, for the illusion that it is not an illusion...

meet me at the restaurant at the end of the universe and tell me what you think...

how long before you notice?

i wonder every time i start a new space... the new link goes up on the list of branches off the tree of madness or the on the left side of right list on the RealTime™ blog (what?... you want links?... then it might be connected and would that be bullsugar?... define, please, s'il tu plait)... i'm just a little bit caught in the middle...

did i mention we are the champions?...

ah, strum your guitar, sing it kid...

just write about your feelings, not the things you never did... and yet, all he did was write about things he never did, a lot, and he felt them as if he did them, which was his secret, i guess, and if you really listened, you heard and if you really heard, you felt and if you really felt, you cried and if you really cried, you healed...

harry chapin takes me home to my roots better than anyone and tonight, i remember first loves, first passion, first feelings... bittersweet memories, because they are so sweet but no longer shared...

still, i want to say... happy birthday :)

meaningless drivel

what was the purpose, if there was a purpose, for another blog, for another way to write the time passing through this life... there is usually a pirpose, a reason, a theme for starting a new writing space... there were books, volumes, journals, diaries, and now, blogs... and why another, i wonder, when there are already dozens open and waiting for more words... is it because there are so many different threads in the tapestry of my mind or am i always trying to recreate whomever i may be... huh?...

good dreams don't come cheap...

feed the head

currently listening to meg & dia, lenka, bright eyes, harry chapin, amy farris, the telling, steve forbert, melissa etheridge, alice peacock, lily allen, melanie, demi lovato, moody blues, rilo kiley, dar williams, kate voegele, garth brooks, portishead, fleetwood mac, jackson browne, eagles, alexa ray joel, elton john, metallica, blind faith, 3 dog night, bread, ligion, say anything, snow patrol, spill canvas, manchester orchestra, the beatles, and others...

what are you feeding your head tonight?

how long?

in 1971, when we met, the world was a very different place... you had your baton, you had your trumpet, i had my hair, my accordion, my running, and we had our music... music was much more magical, personal, and communal back then... and place, we had a place, we had your basement to play in, party in, sleep in, and commune in... i miss communing... people don't commune much these days...

happy birthday old friends... long may we smile :)

did you ever feel?

i've got the feeling most people would say yes, but i've got the feeling that most people actually never did, but then, how would one know, after all... illusions, all... it's really sad, but then, sadness is an emotion, a feeling, isn't it... so is it? (as in, i mean, does it really exist and what is real?... and what is it, anyway?)...

ever really hear meg & dia?

and where we can wandered tonight

or perhaps it was another night... or day, in fact, but then... times is meaningless when we share... so i clicked on an email link and this is what i found... and where we can wander tonight...

always write

meetups

because i'm tea too

enjoying music and sci-fi

because ignorance is bliss (for the ignorant)

drug laws kill more people than drugs

crossing to facebook

up the sandbox

and all the while (what internet porn?), music plays thanks myspace

december's fall

merry ellen

beatlesque

sandy kilpatrick

then i came here to remember it all...

and back around to me again