what happened to this one?

it appears there was an entry here and all that is left is a link to this entry in another blog which is oddly interesting in a kind of what the hell is that? i mean what is that thing? kind of steve martin saturday night kind of mocking way if you know what i mean because it could be some deep dark secret was revealed and nobody noticed so it disappeared or it might even be some magical formula that could save humanity from it's obvious self-destruction (spells apply here) but we may never know now because whatever it was, it is gone as if it never was and all that is left is this summary of the reflection on the disappearance and that link mentioned earlier...

sugar?...

breadcrumbs

all the little breadcrumbs that mark the long and winding road that can lead to your door, my door, any door (that's what breadcrumbs are for) after all, from the love we saved to the love we gave to the miracles on 34th street or promises in the dark, the musical lyrical references are but the sparkly shiny breadcrumbs, the colorful m&ms, even left along the path among so many other less obvious and more obscure pieces of fractal personality identity secrets nobody knows except the one who follows them all to wherever they may lead (and only there and then might we truly touch the magic moment so oft dreamt of, dreamed too, if life did not get in the way)... the laughing cloud mocks the sun's tear knowing the shadow is not forever and the sun will see the earth again... and the child giggles at the potential of the words... dream on...

bullsugar! :)

not that bad

really and if it is all just a test or a game or a chance encounter in time and space, it is what is is and what it is is right here waiting...

you?

unamericans

(e)thereal has received almost 800 page views from outside of the borders of the usa according to in the past few months which is fun in a statistical game and fantasy kind of way and i wonder who looks in and why and whether anyone comes back cuz the whole point of public blogging is to put myself out here to be read and open to communication and feedback and responses even if it's salted with much grains most of the time (cuz wisdom overrules fantasy as age repeats the lessons and the rational mind gains pleasure in being right more than the irrational heart craves the adrenaline rush of the roller coaster of emotional chaos) there is still hope (always hope) that you were meant for me and i was meant for you, bejeweled, even, and blessed be the children, every one, while this little piggy full of excitement and hopefulness, sat back, relaxing and smiling all the way home :)

bullsugar! :)

taste buddies

there are just so sensitive and connected to my brain (and therein, every nerve ending and hormone producing gland and organ that shoots emotional fireworks throughout the mind and body, it is almost unfair that so many seem to detach and lose touch and have a love-hate relationship with them... taste buds, i mean... they are my buddies when all others fail or drift away, they remain (stuck in my mouth, i suppose, but they don't seem to mind cuz i give them what they love most of the time and they've learned to love so many things, i can balance the dietary choices so i don't weight a ton or have out of control unhealthiness in the body)... tonight, they provide one of the best orally inspired orgasms this body has experienced in a long time as they explode with joyous memories of new york pastrami and knishes... hooray for mail order food :)

and that's not bullsugar! :)

web journeys

cazzy music
ignorance + arrogance --> paranoid and 1
world hunger facts
love at first site and 1 2 3 4
four virtes
get off your grass
a wilder lawn
rawsome
facebook
twitter

silly peoples

well, now that you are finslly here, you do realize you are missing all the fun, don'tcha?...

and bullsugar!

wunnerfulworld

yeah, ya know, with a musical soundtrack, life is better than a movie...

facebook

spending a lot of time on facebook of late as the past and present seem to merge in a timeless wonderland of memory and reconnection... don't know how long before the next web playground supplants facebook and there are some warning signs, but it is fun... at least for the moment (and a touch of twitter too :)

one more night

again, just another day, again, take it to the limit (almost) one more time, again, sorta, kinda, well, not really... it's all a touch of drama just to keep the boredom at bay, or so the slight of hand, fingering, and characters might lead you to believe... but really, it's all the maze that moves the mountains and makes the mayrtyrdom seem authentic and bearable, the maze that produces palpable pondering between the lines and around the edges so that most of all, the loneliness does not swallow the abyss that keeps hope alive, the same maze that maintains the loneliness...

or maybe it's just... bullsugar! :)

movies

i love movies, even more when i bond with someone because of how we love movies, especially specific movies... there are movies that are most dear to me because of the specific people who loved those movies with me... some like it hot is one... et is another... as is it's a wonderful life... my girl as well... home alone too... and harry potter and many 90's disney movies... sharing the movie experience is much more profound for me in the long run...

there are movies that draw me in even deeply no matter what and that is often due to the character (as written or as acted, sometimes libido is enough to draw me in, most times there's a much deeper psychological connection) as much as the story... v is one... hook, tale of two cities, random harvest, terminator 2 and serenity are others...

avatar did not quite win me over completely, but i do want to see it again in a full imax as i saw it opening night in a part-imax... the reason for this movie reflection entry is that i see this week avatar passed titanic as the biggest money maker ever in the u.s.a and worldwide..... the first film to make $2 billion... . and it made it in amazingly faster time (titanic took about 250 days to reach $600 million in the u.s. and avatar made $601 million in it's first 48 days... amazingly fast... quite amazing, really)...

anyway, it is partly due to inflation, but at the pace it is going avatar could reach the top ten of the inflation-adjusted lists too, thought #1 would be tough... does that make it the best movie all time?... not for me, though i definitely enjoyed it and will see it again... but the best movies for me are the ones with personal connections because they were shared with someone precious to me or because they become part of my psyche... and that's the impromptu movie wrap up in my head for tonight...

bullsugar :)

what'dya miss?

oh surely you have not read every entry everywhere and even if you think you did, spent weeks or longer tracking down every entry i wrote, look again and you'll find some entries have slipped in between the ones you found when you were reading somewhere else... yes, that's right, write too... i write even more than you see and the overflow spills into the past as if they were already there... and if should come as no surprise cuz i've told you all this before...

you didn't know?...

must have missed that entry too :)

sleep or laundry

the simplest of mundane decisions, health or cleanliness, as even the desire to share sits back and watches the brain shut down after the [izza-pasta carbs raise the blood sugar level and invite the sweet sleep this body and brain is (are) so hungry for... and the left ear is ringing louder than ever and both ears feel so clogged, is it wax or blood pressure or something else. a tumor or something supernatural...

sleep or laundry, such simplest questions...

holy blogoly

ten new blogs created tonight for several different reasons, most to make sure some blog names are not used before i can get to them (as so many have been wasted before by people who created a blog only to abandon it after as few as one entry or never use it at all... words deserve better than that, even without the over-dramatic mockery)...

and there's a dent in the piles of stuff in the space, even more surprising... and what's all this about bullsugar?... seems i forget every few entries and this sort of random report pops up... but then, what is a blog if not a random report of this or that or whatever... if only there was time, there would be so much more, if only there was time...

and you, how are you?

the difference is why

and somewhere deep within the words (or perhaps between the lines... betwixt?) there may be a difference (or was that just a failed intention?... time, posterity, and the judges of obscure literature may one day tell, but for now, we'll just play with the possibilities and hope for some discussion on the matter, or on any matter, for that matter, or this matter, for that matter, whatsa matter you?)...

bullsugar!

yeah, right

the music flows more and more again, though not nearly where or how it once was and did, but more and the ache to share it, to feel it with and within someone, that is returning to the surface which means the depths of desire are stirring once again and if there was only time, the explosion would be seen across the blogosphere and perhaps, the changes would happen once again in the actual physical life...

still, all meaningless unless it is shared...

and i wonder about tone

specifically, the tone of this blog that is now entering it's third month of life and yet to be noticed by anyone, i think, as compared with the tone of my other daily blogs that are mostly semi-daily now, except for this one and then (or now, in fact) i wonder - is this the first time i am openly contemplating and linking this to the stream of blogs that branch out from my written gardens and if so, what do (or can) we make of that?...

well don't just discuss amongst yourselves, i mean, feel free to let me in on your thoughts too, aye?...

narf :)

day by day

it could be there is some association, some relation, some connection through memory or meaning to the previous entry on the previous day or date, whenever it was, but the truth is found between and behind the eyes, so make what you will of the words but reserve judgment, if you must judge, until the eyes have had it...

crossed wires

this was started as a whole new and unique blog that would not be completely intergrated (and therein biased, or tainted, even) by the babbling madness and controversial irreverence that permeates the previous dozens of blogs, diaries, and journals just cuz i enjoy mind games and playing with words (is it real, memorex, or artificial flavoring?... even her hairdresser doesn't know, but you could if you paid close attention and learned to count in aremaic... aremaniac?... sure...

but in the end, the themes and moods and purposes for this blog are spilling into other writing spaces and the babbling madness and other negativities are spilling into this one and that begs the question, what's the point of another blog doing the same old same old when there are already a few and a few more that are hardly used... i mean, where's the continuity, the congruety, the unique purpose and methodology and tapestry?... but anyway, everything is blurriful in it's own way...

nyuk...

writing magic

the magic comes and goes so fast, we mustn't always trust memory or fate, which may be why we write, among other reasons...