younger every day

yes, sometimes i feel like i am getting younger every day and it's not just the chocolate talking either cuz the power feels so real and that could be a perception manifestation of becoming more aware every day and the awareness presents the perception of being younger when in fact the time passing is physically adding a day of life to this life every day which would be something quite the opposite of getting younger and yet it still feels like i am getting younger every day so illusion or not, it's a good feeling...

even if it's mostly bullsugar :)

thinking choices

so many humans are addicted to the rush of fear, anger, paranoia, depression, or some other thinking error that leads to hormonal surges, internal drugs, chemical addictions without even consuming a drug... some thinking errors become "illnesses" and others become accepted delusions (cuz if enough people believe a delusion, it become common-knowledge and truth for the moment {like the flat earth once was} and oh god, yeah, so many, though fewer, are addicted to external drugs, the legal ones and the illegal ones... sadly, the majority addicted to the thinking error emo-drugs and delusions do so much more damage to life than anyone else, not to mention condemning the minority who doesn't buy into the thinking errors...

and i sometimes wonder if i do any good with sarcastic mocking, laughing, and words like those above?... whatever the answer, it is better than sighing or the thinking errors... i choose the drug laughter brings... and occasionally, chocolate :)

surely, don't call me bullsugar

yeah you can give in to self-pity
and just end up feeling shitty
and put off everyone you meet
like your throne is the toilet seat
or you can choose a different way to see
right for you might not be right for me
some will calculate it and some will feel it out
but you decide what your life is about
and that is what life really is about

as nebulousas you want to be
it's still mostly bullsugar to me

alakasasafrass

note that is with two esses, as one would be very different... and once again (or at least almost if you know what i mean, amazement swims in those bright brown eyes... or whatever color they may be today... and you, dear loves lost in ignorance, are missing the party, the story, the journey through the magical mystery tour of the mind that i experience (not to mention the web world)... for all you see is what you see...

bullsugar! :)

oh yeah

so many ways to say the words, oh yeah... ohhh yyeeahhh... deep voice, high voice, sexy voice, laughing boive, sly clever almost evil voice... and the home made frappacino i made last night and tonight have taken me to all of them... OHHH YEA-AH!...

and the youtubes deep thoughts, laughter, toons, and music have definitely helped... it has been so long since i gave myself the nights, the time to explore and set my mind free... and thought this six day trek was just scratching the surface, at least it got scratched...

oh yeah :)

lemonade alternative

life has been presenting a series of lemons of late and sometimes, i tired of making lemonade, no matter how sweet it comes out...

so tonight i made some serious chocolate milk...

with bullsugar! :)

wigglewaggle

wiggle... waggle... whatever it means today, it's a fun little dance of the mind as fatigue tickles the synapses until giggles make sense, in fact, it is well on the road to that nameless place where giggles make more sense than anything else... if you've never ben there, you have my sincerest deepest sympathies...

and how was your day? :)

maintaining quo

status or otheriwse, sometimes hanging on by the skin of the teeth (as if teeth had skin), other times just holding breath and hoping it all doesn't fall apart, we continue to muddle through the bullsugare and worse, the crap that produces neither amusement, education, or other worth in other to believe that everything is gonna be alright no matter what...

and the rest of the time it's mostly...

bullsugar! :)

could have fallen

asleep, that is... there was a time when i could have fallen in love at the drop of a hat, or any article of clothing, in fact, or a blink of the eye, to be more exact, from afar, up close, at first sight, in reality, in fantasy, even purely in my imagination, but that does not happen much anymore... so i stayed awake anyway...

and whatever will be will be :)

oh gobber, it was horrible

i watched cable tonight... picked up the remote cuz i was asked to switch channels to find the ball dropping channel after the football game and there was one channel after another channel after another channel after, well, you get the idea... so many had something on...

i could see my brain cells dropping like flies...

caffiene and chocolate

and crackers and cheese spread and shrimp and meatballs and sausages in barbecue sauce and six different fruits and six different veggies and five different dips and six different crackers and six different chips and five different sodas and three different champagnes and several different beers and brie and ice pops and fudge pops and pistachio nuts and more... that's part of the menu for tonight... better fast today, aye?... did i mention four different lindt chocolates?... hey, we're getting the blogs confused again, but at least the upbeat is back, double aye? (aa, almost a fonz)... hi ho :)

this secret is personal

bullsugar might be the sweet side of bullshit, but it also might be the playful side of fake doo-doo and in the end, perhaps it is a chocolate creme pie in the face that pretends to be poop and leaves you wondering (unless you are the one tasting the creme on your very own lips)...

in other words, what is real and what is not?... you have to get close enough to taste me to really know me... narf :)

bully on sugar

yes, as real as it gets, there's another side of much more careless realness and that is the hedonistic self-indulgence of the sensory fun this body can enjoy and it is definitely a serious bull market on sugar in this body these days and there may be no let up until i suddenly stop, as i've been known to do...

wonderfulness, for as long as it lasts :)

yes, that's it...

the previous entry sums it up so well, or at least starts to a bit and heads in the right direction, so i could expound and perhaps should expound if i only could remember what i was thinking about when i was talking about what i was thinking...

sharing!

serious or not

to be, that is the question, nobler arrows have never been fired from the musketeers of little girl or, in other words, the gates of fruited plains could never be more full of virtue than if presented hanging from the loins of sailor chipmonks on leave from the stable of life...

and if, in one hundred entries, this was never noticed, the power and/or meaning would not be diminished an iota (no relation to yoda), nor would the references be any less real for it is (or will be, if you ever get here) all in your mind, as real or not as you choose to make it...

belief decides everything...

speaking of tone

what tone?

exactly...

a great day for america?... which america?... no, really, north?... south?... central?... vespucci?... somewhere between sleep and awake where you still remember dreaming, right, tink?... you did know america is an italian name, right?... and sometimes it's just a matter of when and how to say go fuck yourself, but mostly it's all about the stones... thrown, not thrown, soup, what you do with the stones measures your place in this world... perhaps you'll roll them now, but what you do without thinking, that is the answer...

the question could be who are you, or simply what?

obviously not

being the epitome of oxymorons, i truly really actually did mean and intend (as if redundancy makes it more real and true?) to leave the controversies and negativities (and depths, for that matter, but that's beneath the story) out of this blog so it might become the beacon of acceptability and attraction that i can be when i focus on and actualize honesty without harm with serious sensitivity and responsible caution and without all that jazz...

any chance it'll happen?