hope i am

not just bullsugar and more importantly (if anything is), hope i am listening... the first thought as i pop back in here tonight is anybody listening and then before the ink dries on the question mark that isnt there, the more important thought is the title of this blog as i hope am, as i am respectfully, as honest as possible in my writings and sharing without giving out too much of other people's privacy (i hope and if you know me offline and i give out too much of your privacy or if anyone reading feels like i share too much personal stuff, please tell me cuz it is my intention to share me and the life i live and offend or intrude on no one more than they allow but on the other hand i don't want to encourage the foolish paranoia that most people carry around like a shroud nor do i want to feed the monster and wall that over-worrying about what other people think becomes and then hope i do listen and take it seriously when it is serious cuz that's important too and i wish i could read minds sometimes, especially on this subject or the other subject in this rambling if you follow along or any of it for that matter and there is a deep part of me that wishes somebody does and cuz the bottom line is i sometimes tell myself important stuff in my babblings and i hope i am listening cuz if i don't listen to the important stuff i could crash and burn and i have had enough crashing and burning in this life and it sure would be sweet to have someone looking out for me (hint hint :)

what?... another paragraph here?... with ellipsis pauses no less?... and question marks?... why this is possibly quite odd for this place and so i wonder if this belongs here but then, it must cuz it is here after all and what i mean (or was getting around to) is (or was, daring redundancy for emphasis) that i know i give too much for my own good, but somebody else must love the giving as much as i do and together we could help each other give just enough to feel the bliss and not give too much cuz giving is kinda like flying close to the sun with flammable wings, or something like that cuz somebody must understand what i mean from personal experience, and i just wish you would find this writing already and speak up and until you do, i am out on the edge on my own loving almost every precarious moment of...

bullsugar! :)

missing pieces

this was a different kind of blog of sorts that the critics liked more than the others because it was less personal and more creative in an abstract kind of randomly casual methodology of thoughts and such that mattered only for a moment if that long and occasionally could have been profound if one delved into the meaning but the story never really got off the ground because the emo grabbed thin air and fell from the sky with silent messages (what?) from the sci-fi imagination to the wishing well of emotions long sleeping long burning long lost in the busy business of living each day and then, it got sleepy and less fun to read and write, so the critics went away leaving their own form of silent messages that sent mr tanner back to sorting through his clothes singing softly to himself as i used to do once upon a time, so what is left now...

bullsugar!

is?

anybody wanna grow older with me? (cuz we're not gonna grow old, right?)... ah, but alas, the rub is there and that is that there is nobody i know who is around my age who is (wait, one is too many, aye?) plays softball and basketball and runs and stays up all night and still parties like a little kid and most younger folk just don't have the experience to understand and while their little bodies are cute, there is so much more going on in my mind than anybody else i know so long too and maybe that is the thing that gives me the impression that nobody is as i is (am) cuz those who are are actually being like me and i am not (is that so?) so (so?) whatever is the point of the promises we made if all the promises are broken in the end (and is that the way it is or just the way it is for me?) alas, again, the rub is there and is you?

bullsugar! :)

taking care of beeswax

sleeping less this week again, stimulated by sports, in the flesh and on the tube, and watching the craigyferg guy bare his naked ego all over the screen... posting on twitter and faceboon, serious and nonsense, you'll just have to search to find that crap... but i love all you friends and followers, really i do...

and you too :)

hate to leave ya hanging

of course hate is used with carefree flippancy and the phrase itself is one of the most over-used misnomers in language in our culture as people cross hypocrisy with insincerity most among the gifts they give each other so what if i slap the phrase around here in this jewel of casual sarcasm, el bullsugaro...

yeah, some might care somewhere... and you'll find me there :)

if you ever get there :}

flying time

before i can catch my breath there's another day and another night and another week and another month and blink, life passed and not even right before my eyes cuz my eyes were blurry with fatigue and distracted by so many other bullsugar and whatevers...

wish you were here :}

losing touch

and if all goes well, i will find - i will make the time (by focusing and organizing my energies) to return and catch up and it will seem as though i never lost touch or anything, not even a beat... perhaps... and that will only fit in as well as the name of this blog can be, sweet bull... but until then, it is a less sweet, swiss cheesy taste of disconnect and disjoint... the laughter of the madman, the patients of the saint, and the smile of charlie brown, in a word...

bullsugar! :}

caffiene and chocolate

and crackers and cheese spread and shrimp and meatballs and sausages in barbecue sauce and six different fruits and six different veggies and five different dips and six different crackers and six different chips and five different sodas and three different champagnes and several different beers and brie and ice pops and fudge pops and pistachio nuts and more... that's part of the menu for tonight... better fast today, aye?... did i mention four different lindt chocolates?... hey, we're getting the blogs confused again, but at least the upbeat is back, double aye? (aa, almost a fonz)... hi ho :)