is?

anybody wanna grow older with me? (cuz we're not gonna grow old, right?)... ah, but alas, the rub is there and that is that there is nobody i know who is around my age who is (wait, one is too many, aye?) plays softball and basketball and runs and stays up all night and still parties like a little kid and most younger folk just don't have the experience to understand and while their little bodies are cute, there is so much more going on in my mind than anybody else i know so long too and maybe that is the thing that gives me the impression that nobody is as i is (am) cuz those who are are actually being like me and i am not (is that so?) so (so?) whatever is the point of the promises we made if all the promises are broken in the end (and is that the way it is or just the way it is for me?) alas, again, the rub is there and is you?

bullsugar! :)

taking care of beeswax

sleeping less this week again, stimulated by sports, in the flesh and on the tube, and watching the craigyferg guy bare his naked ego all over the screen... posting on twitter and faceboon, serious and nonsense, you'll just have to search to find that crap... but i love all you friends and followers, really i do...

and you too :)

missing the point?

for visual and egocentric reasons i am sure (figure of speech, even), i am slightly addicted to my current entry in my video me blog cuz it's fun and i miss fun so very much... and the physical, i miss the physical... and life, i miss life... love, of course i miss precious love most of all... i'd like a profound thunderstorm about now... i miss nature too... i work too much...

bullsugar!

exhausterated

headache in right eye most of the day, ear screaming at feverish pitch, hit like crap tonight, but pitched great, still lost 8-7 cuz of errors and crappy hitting by the rest of the team... headache in right eye and ear screaming did not help... at all... keeping me awake?... life... liberty... and the pursuit... and...

bullsugar! :)

high protein

is a farce cuzz, after all, who can get high on protein?... then again, who am i to question the human body?... it can get high on anything, especially the brain, which is often high on things we'd never expect to effect it's affect... i mean, barbecue sauce could be blood to a vampire, texture, the rush of energy, the coagulation factor... and blood is high in protein, after all... maybe...

i'm thinking about changing my diet again...

will i explode tonight

lol, i wonder if that is a question... ordereding italian food to take home is a dangerous activity for me because i love variety in my foods and will often end up with enough food for a dozen people (or at least nine) and how do you eat just a little?...

caffiene and chocolate

and crackers and cheese spread and shrimp and meatballs and sausages in barbecue sauce and six different fruits and six different veggies and five different dips and six different crackers and six different chips and five different sodas and three different champagnes and several different beers and brie and ice pops and fudge pops and pistachio nuts and more... that's part of the menu for tonight... better fast today, aye?... did i mention four different lindt chocolates?... hey, we're getting the blogs confused again, but at least the upbeat is back, double aye? (aa, almost a fonz)... hi ho :)

bully on sugar

yes, as real as it gets, there's another side of much more careless realness and that is the hedonistic self-indulgence of the sensory fun this body can enjoy and it is definitely a serious bull market on sugar in this body these days and there may be no let up until i suddenly stop, as i've been known to do...

wonderfulness, for as long as it lasts :)

for the love of pizza

it's one of my addictions, pizza, if there was a twelve step program for pizza and chocolate, i'd be the poster child for the example of the one who needs it most, but then, at least i couldn't find myself on the biggest loser... by current real cultural standards, i'm barely overweight... still, i'm gonna set the set-weight goal down thirty ppounds for 2010 cuz current real cultural standards are sick...

holidays kill, ya know?

pixilated

or perhaps pixillated, but spelling is only one of the mind bending alterations that the pilixated can bring to the table of life... and it's long nigh on time (whatever that means) that we just up and faced the fact that i am quite pixilated...

now if i can only find a pixilated partner, life would be pixiperfect :)

speaking of tone

what tone?

exactly...

a great day for america?... which america?... no, really, north?... south?... central?... vespucci?... somewhere between sleep and awake where you still remember dreaming, right, tink?... you did know america is an italian name, right?... and sometimes it's just a matter of when and how to say go fuck yourself, but mostly it's all about the stones... thrown, not thrown, soup, what you do with the stones measures your place in this world... perhaps you'll roll them now, but what you do without thinking, that is the answer...

the question could be who are you, or simply what?

so what was this supposed to be again?

the serious one?... flippant?... cleverly popular?... irreverent?... the sweet bull?... everything except the offensive controversial stuff?... probably too late for that, but then, i've gotta be me, or so the song is sung...

i wonder what the funda would say...

the funda?

the web woven

the web was woven (weaved?) wide tonight as i make time to release some of the words backed up between the synapses and you'll just have to find my ninety-nine gazillion other blogs, diaries, journals, and web pages on your own for now cuz this is bullsugar, whatever that means...

besides, you have to let me know you exist before i give you the keys to the kingdom, after all, or something like that...

narf.

obviously not

being the epitome of oxymorons, i truly really actually did mean and intend (as if redundancy makes it more real and true?) to leave the controversies and negativities (and depths, for that matter, but that's beneath the story) out of this blog so it might become the beacon of acceptability and attraction that i can be when i focus on and actualize honesty without harm with serious sensitivity and responsible caution and without all that jazz...

any chance it'll happen?

honesty without harm

and if you are offended by anything i say (or write) then please try to ask yourself why you choose your way because i mean no offense and intent to do no harm and i won't let you bring me down and i hope you do the same...

i guess i simply do not want to discipline myself to the point of censorship because the stiffling of creativity does not need my help and i'd rather be me freely releasing the thoughts and feelings passing through me than carefully sharing planned pablum (or even serious thought) designed to placate fear and doubts and seduce the general public by pandering to the lowest common denominator which devalues everything and ultimately, will be shot down...

i love you honestly, so i will njot respect your stupidity, your hypocrisy, or your self-destruction... wake up and start living honest love and all will be well (if only you would)... sometimes it's not bullsugar but just appears...

it's all bullsugar

whatever that means, i mean, who knows what it means, i mean, seriously, irreverence is sweet, sugar... everything is serious, in it's own way, but taking anything too seriously is just plain sick and a waste of time cuz life is short and the fun is the point if you love and let yourself be loved cuz love is the point if you make it fun (honesty without harm is the way, yay) so sweeten the ride and lighten the load cuz it's all too heavy to be burdened by worry and selfish emo (and you know what i mean, i mean, what it means)...

and what's this soul cake sting is singing about these days?... i mean, has the beard gone to his head?... or is that a small cake?... a salt cake?... assault cake?... might as well be agassi wearing a wig on crystal meth, but what sickness is really permeating our culture can be found almost anytime on tv, extra or tmz or so many other celebrity-sick narcissism only sadder when we realize the audience at home is even more delusional than the characters on the screen, living vicariously as if it's something to take pride in (cuz pride is so important to humans) instead of actually living...

and even as i appear so self-absorbed as i cast irreverence upon the cyber seas in words that at once mock and condemn and bless and judge and laugh and cry and who knows what else (or what is real, aye?) and it appears i am so desperately lonely at times and want attention so much i'll do anything out here (where did i put those the nude videos again?) for your feedback, in the end, as important as your noticing and responding really is, i am here sharing words cuz i want to write and the internet lets me store the words so i can look back and enjoy (or at least learn about, cha know) the thoughts and feelings in my mind and oh yeah, i'l the delusional one...

might as well welcome god into the mix, aye?...

cha-ching :)

up all night

as usual, with softball in the morning, but that's another story (too real for here?... whatever is the point of all the different blogs if all the separations merge and confuse the purpose of each one if there ever was one {oh come on, we know there was and somehow, still is} anyway?... anyway?... yeah, anyway?... what of it?... anyway...

if only you knew...

that's what it's all about

the latest in a long line of snack-fueled babbling literally reflecting the intense longing or cavelier apathy (with the occasional parenthetic ambivalence) born (or perhaps borne) of impulsive self-satisfactions and periodic boredom, but most of all, the eternal flame of hopelessly hopeful romance (or something like that)...

yeah, anyway, every day something happens...

mostly bullsugar...

narf.