it seems important

so many things in life, but personally for this moment i am thinking of (and referring to) this blog, the bullsugar, and the writing i do without thinking or planning like tonight, for instance, i fell asleep early and intended to sleep the night through and the phone woke me and i found myself sitting here typing and six entries were suddenly presenting a profound sense of simultaneous gain and loss, the gain of memories of loss, if that makes any sense to you (and it matters more than it makes much sense to me for in this understanding the profound feeling of satisfaction and accomplishment grows, as if understanding gives life more meaning or something life that... or like that, for that matter) and in the end (not only the beatles song), we can only hope, depending on perspective, that it is, or is not...

bullsugar!

petition for time (partial addendum)

actually, this is just a reminder to add this to the petition in proper petition language and all that formal stuff, but i am adding that to my petition to the universe for expansion of the earth's orbit (with the simultaneous heating of the sun so the daily temperature range remains relatively constant) because this body and mind i inhabit requires at least a 42 hour day for optimal comfort and productivity and saturdays should have an extra ten hours, at least, so a slight hiccup in the rotation of the planet needs to be built into the new orbits... so i hope the subatomic particles that designed the universe get on that right away...

someday, my sleep will come

yeah, i say someday because it definitely does not come at night without some conscious effort... too much to do, to many dreams to explore (awake), too much to write about, too much to share... there really is not enough awake time in this life...

flying solo

some days, being alone is a beautiful place to be... keeping in touch with the real elsewhere... and the music returns... do you know what i mean? :)

the words and music are out there if you want to know what's passing through my head today, if you have the time to let the journey envelope you or if you simply want background music... i believe i had a very beautiful day when i put this particular playlist together... and softball later, but for the moment, relaxing... can you relax this much? :)

should do this more often :)

flying time

before i can catch my breath there's another day and another night and another week and another month and blink, life passed and not even right before my eyes cuz my eyes were blurry with fatigue and distracted by so many other bullsugar and whatevers...

wish you were here :}

may i?

more rested than in many many months and yet, still quite groggy, only demonstrating the need for an extended sleep (vacation) type event and since that has not occurred with any comfort since the mid-nineties, it would seem to be about time (it's always about time)... so commit?... this year, for sure... this season, most likely... this month, perhaps, but may may make matters more manageable for manipulating time, maybe... merry merry, no doubt :)

the difference is why

and somewhere deep within the words (or perhaps between the lines... betwixt?) there may be a difference (or was that just a failed intention?... time, posterity, and the judges of obscure literature may one day tell, but for now, we'll just play with the possibilities and hope for some discussion on the matter, or on any matter, for that matter, or this matter, for that matter, whatsa matter you?)...

bullsugar!

one hundredth entry

yes, the next entry was the one hundredth entry in this newish blog named for the season of the psyche unknown to stuffy folk who lose touch with their realness and treasured by the honest among us with the sense of humor that appreciates duality and realness, but then this entry slipped in here in this out-of-time way (not as in not enough time, but in the sci-fi out of the normal chronological concept of time way, to be more accurately clarified) and usurped the next entry, which probably should have been a cult classic, so this right here and now, or whenever, is the one hundrendth entry...

yeah, for whatever that's worth...

yeah, right

the music flows more and more again, though not nearly where or how it once was and did, but more and the ache to share it, to feel it with and within someone, that is returning to the surface which means the depths of desire are stirring once again and if there was only time, the explosion would be seen across the blogosphere and perhaps, the changes would happen once again in the actual physical life...

still, all meaningless unless it is shared...

day by day

it could be there is some association, some relation, some connection through memory or meaning to the previous entry on the previous day or date, whenever it was, but the truth is found between and behind the eyes, so make what you will of the words but reserve judgment, if you must judge, until the eyes have had it...

in spite of the busy-ness

i find a moment to stop by because i want to keep in touch with you and that is the most serious the words can ever be about this blogging experience these days, or maybe ever...

i am here, hope you are there and we talk, smile, touch, and share soon :)

watching tv is weird

of course it is, for many reasons, in fact... take time, for instance... you watch a rerun of a talk show and it's like going back in time and then right after that show you watch a live show and wonder what day it is cuz the other show was on just moments ago and referred to toay as some day that already happened and you get confused in a time warp uncertain which when is which and why you even look at the clock at all...

meanwhile, craig ferguson's mind is quite amusing, but even more, it makes sense to me... i wonder how many others hear the seriousness within the irreverence (serious irreverence?... no wonder i enjoy him)...

just thoughts, no plan, whether or not you understand, just words, maybe rhyme, just a way to pass the time, just a way to mark the time, just a way... i can call mine...

by the time you find me here i may be gone

that's the way it is in this moving world

in this moving world

spinning round the sun streaking through space

dances in your mind create the life you live

you are unfurled unfurled unfurled

pretending we can stay in just one place

begging for connections, keep the faith, there's always hope

praying someday someone will respond

beyond heaven's gate the real is dancing in your eyes

but by the time you find me here i may be gone

by the time you find me here i may be gone