passing through

and for no apparent reason i discovered myself here remembering what it was like to be free of the foibles and follies (what's the difference after all) of the responsibilities of daily life and random acts of kindness were easy without the stress of worry of rejection or homelessness because i was not dependant on anyone or anything outside of myself for my joyful laughter and secure self-esteem which was an excellent time in this life that should be on everyone's bucket list at least once if not always and even though i wandered astray from that idyllic paradise in my mind it still exists for my rapture and casual comfort whenever i dare to stop running the maze long enough to bring awareness of life and my existence to upper consciousness and once again everything is wonderful in it's own way...

even bullsugar! :)

no really, i was not looking for porn

well ok then, there i was waiting for a moment of non-suckage from att so i could google map where i am going tomorrow (should have done it from work where i have a printer, aye?) when i found myself on my twitter page that i never use to see who is following me (anybody's guess why) and i click on a link in the first twitter from the first follower and i find myself here looking at local amateur porn pictures and i am reminded how most human bodies are rather repulsive (disgusting, really) to my libido/psyche (no wonder i'm alone, no doubt) and somewhere along the way i find a japanese school girl who probably would have waggled my wiggle had att not sucked so much that streaming is rare here, but hey, who needs porn for fantasies when sex is mostly in the mind anyway...

no really, i wasn't looking for porn and didn't watch the whole thing...

maybe later lam lol la la la...

meanwhile, i wonder if masturbating before the big game give me weak legs?...

bullsugar! :)

yeah, right

the music flows more and more again, though not nearly where or how it once was and did, but more and the ache to share it, to feel it with and within someone, that is returning to the surface which means the depths of desire are stirring once again and if there was only time, the explosion would be seen across the blogosphere and perhaps, the changes would happen once again in the actual physical life...

still, all meaningless unless it is shared...