glory box

there was a time i masturbated daily, often more than once a day, cuz that was the comfortable place my sexuality lived... and today i realized after a wonderful bit of self-loving that days go by lately and even more surprising is how long it's been since i shared the experience with someone else... portishead singing glory box as i woke from a quick deep nap probably flashed some memory cells... i wonder if libido is dying...

bullsugar! :}

lol 222

living life alone can produce such a singluar perspective even for one striving for infinite perspective and openness of mind... this is the primary vitality (or vital-ness, cuz words are so queer sometimes) of sharing, bonding, intimacy, and ultimately, trusting another's perspective... the difference between to extremely similar things can be so vast, a molecule change can make a chemical have almost the opposite properties... just wait until the figuer out brain chemistry, i mean, life (especially the real, ya know?) can seem so serious, so analytical, so worrisome and concerning and, oh, serious, ya know?... but the subtle changes, even in words, can be dramatic... i mean, there is even harm in harmony, after all...

cheap skates

and the time, i say, the time goes by so slowly and, you know, the time can mean so much, i say, so much... listen to me boy, i'm talkin' time here (dull boy, wouldn't know a timepiece from a piece of cake)...

who's paying attention?...

cheapskates :P

someday, my sleep will come

yeah, i say someday because it definitely does not come at night without some conscious effort... too much to do, to many dreams to explore (awake), too much to write about, too much to share... there really is not enough awake time in this life...

wondering about you

yeah, so you see (if you've paid attention, looked around lately, are aware, and care) that the casual cool self-mockery is back (dorky narf)... and i will keep hoping life was fun for you today every day even if you never know (oh, is ignorance really bliss?... you really ought to get in touch, i mean, all this silent time is making me wonder if you are still alive {better than wondering if all your caring was a lie, aye?}... emo snark)... and besides, you matter even more when you are in touch, ya know? (not so depressed that you don't care if you matter, are ya?)...

bullsugar!

silly peoples

well, now that you are finslly here, you do realize you are missing all the fun, don'tcha?...

and bullsugar!

creative insomnia

i closed my eyes (only for a moment then the moment's gone?... well, sort of {and we grin a silly mostly all-knowing grin} but more, a starting out sincere {but ending up half-hearted} intent to fall asleep), cuz the mind wizzes and waddles and rambles and rants through oil rigs and imaginary diety chats and softball replays and some sort of enlightenment and how humanity got so bent and ear rings that never stop screaming and a mind that never stops dreaming and books i want to read and things i want to do and games i want to play and promises i made to you and activities i want to share and people i want to see and way i want to care and ways i want to be and stuff i want to know and work that must be done and finding time to run and all the fun of the fair and clean air and long hair and blank stares and red chairs and dead birds blackened on the beach and people who don't practice what they preach and grown men who abuse the kids they teach and stars that remain just out of reach and theme parks where i want to play and rides i want to ride all day and stories seeking the time to tell and rhymes i used to know so well...

bullsugar! :)