breathe like you mean it

cuz otherwise you are just pretending to be alive

someday i'll let you know

the irony in the titles and the falicy of believing in control, as if i can let you know anything or have the power to keep you from knowing anything when truth is we know what we want to know... truth is, we've known all along and we've made our choices...

but it was a nice fantasy to get lost in now and then...

and where we can wandered tonight

or perhaps it was another night... or day, in fact, but then... times is meaningless when we share... so i clicked on an email link and this is what i found... and where we can wander tonight...

always write

meetups

because i'm tea too

enjoying music and sci-fi

because ignorance is bliss (for the ignorant)

drug laws kill more people than drugs

crossing to facebook

up the sandbox

and all the while (what internet porn?), music plays thanks myspace

december's fall

merry ellen

beatlesque

sandy kilpatrick

then i came here to remember it all...

and back around to me again

as we recreate

we create

we enjoy

we recreate

recreation

seems

sometimes it may seem that every word i ever wrote was aimed at just one heart and soul i used to know and maybe that's the truth and the way it's always been or maybe you know something more that doesn't show... or maybe that is just the way it seems sometimes in dreams the exact clarity matters less than the flow and that is true in rhymes and songs and so for me and you it seems we laugh as if we know what we don't know...

(cuz seems create the dreams that always grow)...

what were you doing now?

as if someday you will find all these little bread crumbs of my soul so neatly scattered across winds of life and time i wonder what you were doing the moment that these words emerged from my inagination into rhyme and then i wonder if this will matter as much to you in then as it seems to matter to me in my now...

and yes, i'd ask in other ways if i knew how...

it's all made up

but are we?

because you dream in words

that may be why you follow me, because you dream in words and i am a prolific writer when i find the time to let you know i'm writing eyery night and day in any moment i can find the keyboard or a pencil anything will do and yes, sometimes in rhyme, but no, not every time... it's just i think in literary patterns and in lyrical lines and now and then when i am feeling in touch with myself i feel in melodies that influence the way i write so there is sometimes metered prose upon my shelf... but more than anything this is the way into my core and my imagination never seems to sleep and it might be because you dream in words you understand what i'm here for... to record a few dreams that will not keep... or to just remember dreams i want to keep...

was it real for you?

was i here every day or was i just trying to keep up with time as it rushed passed my blinking eyes.... was it as real for you as i imagined it might be or were we just connected by our lonely eyes... how many times did you wish for something more than this with me or with someone else you were reading alone late at night... answers are not always the best friends to get to close to if you know what i mean you'll be alright... real or not we shared a little time between the dark and light and yes we'll be alright if we just go on believing it's alright... just go on believing it's alright...

bullsugar

i don't have a particular flavor in mind as this writing space evolves from whence it came... i don't know if you'll ever understand my life in rhyme or if there will be too much sense made of the name... my thoughts escaping wildly now into the ethernet or maybe my imagination's on a leave (on allieve? sp) but time is on my side as long as i can take a breath and whether you are here or not i'll still believe that we are here to share and care and maybe be aware somewhere in between the moments we rejoice and grieve...

today's reading of the mad scientist

amy g dala

culture shaping parasite
tocoplasmosis
drugs
risperidone
electromagnetic brain
cver bucy
amygdala
limbic
islands of calleja
neuromodulation

mind over body

cuz there's nobody for the body but so very much for the mind, so until somebody comes along, i'll just enjoy myself by myself with myself and let my mind please my body and my mind... what are you up to?

omgoshikins!

omgoshikins, could it be that nobody did?

where have you been? (narf)

hiding or oblivious

you once knew the way

but years have lead you somewhere

have you been astray?

why would you want to be an ass tray?... toilet seat?... smoker?... ah, ash, as if...

play with the letters and you might see

you are as oblivious as me

but somewhere deeper you understand

you had the power in your own hand

all along

as simple as writing your song

but beware when listening to it on the radio cuz The mammalian brain is protected by the blood-brain barrier, which prevents harmful substances from reaching the brain tissue [and] there is evidence that exposure to electromagnetic fields at non thermal levels disrupts this barrier. dontchaknow... narf.

what are you afraid of?

afraid?... ring slater-natsi at (oh wait, that's another bit)... no, don't call me, i'll just pluck on your feathers until you hit me or run away and either action is unpleasant, so dance in your circles (flowing skirt or whatever) and hope for the best because, you oughta know... drugs are for those who can't handle reality.... well, most drugs.

not that i said i would

i mean, just because things happen does not mean i'll be here writing about it every day, here, that is, but one never knows, do one... questions do not always need marks, ya know... you could have been a contender.

six days later

flashback leads to all sorts of things cha cha cha (the only way to know may be to ask).

that's what it's all about

the latest in a long line of snack-fueled babbling literally reflecting the intense longing or cavelier apathy (with the occasional parenthetic ambivalence) born (or perhaps borne) of impulsive self-satisfactions and periodic boredom, but most of all, the eternal flame of hopelessly hopeful romance (or something like that)...

yeah, anyway, every day something happens...

mostly bullsugar...

narf.

i could happen tomorrow

or even yesterday
cuz time is relative
more if you pray
but what you don't know
is most everything
so whatever

or at least bullsugar!

need to know, need to fear!

that's the top news story tonight.